There are many ways to enjoy anal sex, including extended foreplay, oral sex, and mutual masturbation. It’s also possible to use anal plugs to relax muscles and make anal sex easier.
All men face certain health risks, but gay and bisexual men may have an increased risk of HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases. Understanding those risks can help keep men healthy and safe.
1. It’s fun
Gay men can have all kinds of kinks. Some fetishes are illegal, like anal sex, but most can be negotiated with partners who can live with it.
For example, a top might hold the bottom’s legs back by their shoulders while licking and sucking on his cock. This 69 position is easy for the top and can be hardcore as hell for the bottom. Just remember to use store-bought lube, as saliva can cause tearing and discomfort.
2. It’s healthy
Gay men are more likely to suffer from intimate partner violence and may be less likely to seek help due to fears of stigma. This can lead to depression, anxiety and suicide.
Not everyone enjoys anal sex, especially for those who have medical issues or are concerned about the risk of STIs. Luckily, extended foreplay, oral sex, rimming and mutual masturbation can give you a similar pleasure without the need for penetration. Just make sure you use store-bought lube to avoid tearing and discomfort.
3. It’s empowering
Gay men often have fetishes. They may love to play sex games, like extended foreplay and oral sex. Or, they might be into rimming or masturbation. Some guys enjoy barebacking, but not all do. It’s important to find a kink that works for you.
Having a healthy sex life is empowering. It allows you to break free from limiting societal images and to live according to your own sexual preferences.
4. It’s an outlet
Many gay men are afraid to be open about their interest in hardcore sex, fearing it will be shamed. They worry their partners will get mad, they’ll be judged by the community for “bottoming,” or their kinks will be mocked.
There’s no shame in liking what you like, so long as it’s consensual and safe. Whether you prefer anal sex, flipping, or barebacking, your fetishes are valid and healthy outlets for self-soothing anxiety. They are not a disease or a sign of mental illness.
5. It’s social
Aside from the usual sexual kinks, many gay men have fetishes. Some of them can’t be lived without breaking the law (like bareback sex), and others require expensive protection like condoms, lube, and enemas.
Other fetishes are simply taboo, like anal sex. Anal sex is used to deny equal rights and categorically ban blood donors, but this study aims to change the conversation. It finds that partnered and single men differ in their concerns about masculine roles, which predicts interest in casual sex.
6. It’s satisfying
Men who have sex with men face unique health concerns. It’s important to understand these issues and take steps to stay healthy.
Bottoming can be scary, especially for gay men who’ve never done it before. But with a little practice, it can be safe and satisfying.
Many gay men have fetishes. There’s nothing wrong with that, as long as it’s consensual and non-violent. Extended foreplay, oral sex, and rimming can all be pleasurable. It’s just a matter of finding what works best for you.
7. It’s empowering
Gay men often find kinks in the bedroom that empower them. Whether it’s daddy-son role playing, submissive sex, or hardcore anal sex, there’s nothing wrong with exploring those fantasies as long as they are consensual.
It’s also empowering to reject negative societal images of gay men and their sexuality. After all, anal sex isn’t always dirty or risky—particularly when you use store-bought lube and practice anal hygiene. (As long as it’s done in a private place, of course.)
8. It’s not a failure
Some men have fetishes that make sex with other men more intense and pleasurable. There’s nothing wrong with this – so long as it’s consensual.
Anal sex carries certain risks, like tearing and the need for store-bought lube. But it’s a shame to file people into easy categories and categorize them as “safe” or “risky.” We all have needs that can’t be met with blanket expectations. The more we understand those needs, the better. Especially when it comes to gay men.